“Homer Goes to College” Homer made a bookshelf out of four planks and six cinder blocks: Marge: Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase. Homer: Yeah, but this is what they’re doing on campus. Besides, it isn’t costing us: I swiped the cinderblocks from a construction site. Meanwhile, at the construction site: Worker: Sir, six cinderblocks are missing. Boss: There’ll be no hospital, then. I’ll tell the children. Neither passing nor cutting are what they used to be and motion offences are suffering as a result. But there’s a nice bookcase next to the bench by the pick-up court. In the N.B.A. During training …
Mr. T at the Mall
You’re right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, ‘I’ll go a little later, I’ll go a little later…’ And when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he’ll ever come back again, he said he didn’t know. Well, I’m never going to let something like that happen again! Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Flanders
When Springfield experiences an epidemic of childhood obesity (again), the town turns to Pop Warner football to encourage kids to exercise more. Like they previously did with minor hockey, the adults abuse their positions of responsibility and monopolize the activity. Homer and Flanders take turns coaching the team and offer two contrasting coaching philosophies. While the team wins the championship at the conclusion of the season, it can be attributed more to the talent of the players involved than their coaches. The team is initially coached by Ned Flanders – who is motivated by his community spirit and his desire …
Capitalism: A Love Story
Michael Moore curses capitalism as “evil” and suggests it be supplanted by democracy. Such rhetoric is incendiary and inelegant. Capitalism is not a political system but an extreme on the economic spectrum. Capitalism and democracy are neither complements nor opposites. One does not preclude the other. To me, the economic spectrum is a medium with capitalism (supply and demand) one on side with socialism (a pure command economy) on the other. Society has become so complicated that only a mix of both concepts will satisfy every individual’s indulgent wants. I think that the political spectrum can range from democracy to …
The Right…What’s that Stuff?
Kobe Bryant said that if he’d been told in training camp that Los Angeles would have to win three straight games to claim the Association title, he’d take it for sure. On the other hand, Phil Jackson felt that the Lakers hadn’t grasped the significance of their situation between Thursday and Sunday. In a sense, both were right. Boston was laying their bodies on the line, playing through pain. Doc Rivers told them to play every minute of Game 5 like it was their last. The Celtics had bought into a season-long philosophy of team play and personal sacrifice for …
5hrs 41min of Madness
Some of Phil Garner’s decisions last night adversely affected his team. First of all, the athletes on the field (the Houston Astros) were given several excellent chances and could not execute. They share a great deal of responsibility because they did not deliver any clutch hitting. But it is questionable as to whether the best Houston line-up was on the field at times. Garner has had a strong post-season and made some great moves. Clemens and Burke in Game 4 of the N.L.D.S. were examples of the right players at the right time, as was Vizcaino pinch-hitting in Game 2 …